Not sending a telegram from the UK

What happened before : Our two heroes are on a holiday in England, relaxing and taking a break from everything.

On the final day, they want to send congratulations to a friend who is getting married that day.

How do you send congratulations for such an official event ? Send a real telegram !

Where do you send a telegram... hmmm... post office ?

So, a post office is found.

The two heroes: "Can we send a telegram ?"
Post office person (after some thinking): "No, you cannot send a telegram from here. You'll have to call the operator on number 100."

Hmmm.. ok, telephone. Well, we have mobile phones with us, so that shouldn't be a problem.

Calling 100 .. lots of possibilities and finally a real living operator.

The two heroes: "Can we send a telegram ?"
Operator: "No you cannot do that from a mobile phone. Use a landline phone."

Ok, we wait until we arrive at a house where we can call again.

Calling 100 .. an operator right away.

The two heroes: "Can we send a telegram ?"
Operator: "I'll connect you to the right department."

Operator 2: "Telegram department."
The two heroes: "We want to send a telegram to the Netherlands."
Operator 2: "I'm sorry, due to a malfunction that telegram will not arrive until monday."
The two heroes: "Sorry that's too late."

Not handy. Plan B. A fax. Hmm.. no fax numbers.

Calling international directory enquiries.

Operator: "What country ?"
The two heroes: "Netherlands."
Operator: "What city ?"
The two heroes: "Nunspeet."
Operator: "What listing are you looking for ?"
The two heroes: "<vague approximation of the name of the place where the wedding party was>, we're looking for a fax listing."
Operator: "There is no fax number listed."
The two heroes: "Then the normal number ?"
Operator: "<number>."

Calling the wedding place...

Attendant: "<good morning>"
The two heroes: "Do you have a fax number for <wedding place> ?"
Attendant: "Sure! It's <fax number>"

And there was much rejoicing, and a congratulations fax was sent.

Koos van den Hout